she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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