I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
