Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
