i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
