We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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