And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize