I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize