I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
