dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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