just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
