Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
