Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
