then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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