she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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