Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
