On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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