I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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