bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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