no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
