I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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