If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
