but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just tell him i said nine months
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
