she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
