shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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