I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
