Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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