who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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