I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
