Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
