I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
