You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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