May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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