I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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