hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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