The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so let's talk penis.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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