I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize