i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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