just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Randomize
