YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
