I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
