I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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