I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
