i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
