Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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