no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
