Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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