420 ftw
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There's always time for handjobs
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
There's even glitter on my cock...
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