all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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