So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize