Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
