So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
