Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
be right there i have to get my cape
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize