I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
false alarm, still single
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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