Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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