i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
