Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
