Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
