Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it's like iHOP with fire
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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