i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
