What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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