It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
